With more than 40% of marriages ending in divorce due to financial demise, more times than not, financial infidelity may be at the center. Financial infidelity occurs with couples who have combined finances, and is characterized by financial deceit that is intentionally and purposefully performed toward a romantic partner. Financia infidelity has multiple forms. It may include, but not be limited to, 1) hiding significant amounts of debt that is pre-existing to the romantic relationship or accumulated during the romantic relationship, 2) having and using a credit card that is unknown to the romantic partner, 3) private about finances, 4) stonewalling a partner when it comes to money and finances, or 5) utilizes money and financial resources to care for others without the romantic partners knowledge.
Financial infidelity starts, is perpetuated, and sustained by divisiveness. Whether being cryptic about one’s income, having secret bank and investment accounts, or excluding a partner from major financial decisions, financial infidelity gives life to concern, distrust, manipulation, and/or skepticism. Financial infidelity causes couples to lie to one another about money and finances. The stability of any relationship may be jeopardized by financial infidelity.
The ability to discuss money and finances is typically not present in a relationship that is tainted by financial infidelity. There is usually a demand or desire by one partner to control financial decisions and outcomes without compromising with the romantic partner. The difficulties and tension created by financial infidelity can be rectified with honest and open communication. Establishing boundaries and being transparent about money and finances can facilitate the restoration of a healthy relationship. Third party counseling can also be an option if a couple believes they cannot resolve the matter themselves.
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Nicole Michelle
Finance and Money Wiz
February 14, 2024
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